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About Essen

You wanna talk weird? Water expands when it freezes – unlike anything else! Busts pipes, ruins my day – hate that shit! But it’s magic too, floating icebergs and all. *The Pianist* vibes again – surviving the cold, the wet, the misery. “What am I, a fish?” – could’ve been his line, ha! I’d kill for a sequel where he swims outta there. Anyway, drink it, cook with it, don’t piss it away – respect water, you numpty! It’s the unsung hero, like me in the kitchen – or the lab, whatever. Now sod off, I’m parched!

Nearest Cities

Germany Whore · Handjob · Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge · Sex in Different Positions · Prostate Massage · Kissing if good chemistry · Blowjob without Condom.

Man, this town is a vibe. I been here for years, you know, livin' that chill, steamy life. Walkin' down Marktstrasse, you feel that pulse of history and modern hustle. Every corner got its own story—like that one time I had a super eccentric client spill all her secrets while we were workin' magic on her back. I was like, "This ain't no fairy tale," just like in that Cronenberg flick, A History of Violence.

Beavers can help us adapt to climate change – here’s how