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About Hamburg

What pisses me off? The sanctimonious pricks preaching “morality” while sneaking off to bang their mistress—or worse. Hypocrisy’s thicker than the makeup on these girls. Happy? Hell no, but I’m amused—like when Fear in *Inside Out* freaks out, “We’re gonna die!” Yeah, maybe, if you pick the wrong alley. Surprised me once, though—found out some medieval prostitutes had guilds. Guilds! Like, unionized sex workers demanding dental. Wild, right? Imagine that negotiation: “More coin or I bite harder.”

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I always hit up the little café on Lindenweg. I go there almost every day; I mean, what’s wrong with watchin’ folks sip on their lattes while talkin’ about their neuroses? It’s like a live therapy session. And oh man, the park – Schlosspark – is where I get all my creative juices, or frustrations, I guess. You stroll there, watch the river Wern flow like it’s got somewhere to be, and think, "Man, life’s truly a theater of the absurd." Sometimes I sit on these rickety benches, and the city’s vibe just slaps you in the face with raw, unedited life.

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