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About Cologne

So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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There’s a cooler, secret spot behind the town hall near the old oak tree. Kinda hidden, but full of secrets. I sometimes tell my clients, "Feels like being in a magical forest." Lol, totally Patrick Star style! Sometimes I even sing off key "Is mayonnnaise an instrument?" because why not!

Rofin-Baasel Lasertech moves into new headquarters