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But yo, what pisses me off? When folks fake it – gimme that real touch, not some half-assed pat-down. I ain’t here for no weak sauce, I want that “Witness me!” energy, ya feel? Had this one chick, swear she was magic, hands movin’ like she’s dodgin’ bullets in the Wasteland. Made me wanna holler, “I live, I die, I live again!” – that’s how dope it was, fo’ shizzle.

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I’m not even kidding – the cobblestones here are literally history. Streets like Am Domhof are steeped in legend. I’ve seen locals argue passionately about trivial stuff – yeah, I got mad once ‘cause someone's trash talk got too wild on the benches outside the Kulturzentrum. But that’s life, right? As The Grand Budapest Hotel would say, “There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse.” (Boom! Preach it!)

Nicholas Goldberg: This is the slowest concert ever. It began 21 years ago and is just getting started