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About Berlin

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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Stay away from the Reeperbahn, you will be ripped off. As for recommendations - search for "huren Hamburg" and you should find several discussion boards where people "rate" their Missing: Homberg.

Oh man, lemme tell ya ‘bout Marktplatz. It's the bomb! Crowded on Saturdays, w/ vendors sellin’ grub. I get mad sometimes cuz the smells hit me – hot pretzels n’ schnitzels, ya dig? I got so many memories here – like when I saw a couple spark up at a hotdog stand… yeah, love in da city.

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