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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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My salon? Yeah, it's in an old building near the S-Bahn station. Clients spill their souls here, muscles relax, and I hear secrets like, “let it be, man.” I laugh thinking about it – each client is a story, just like the city.