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About Cologne

Mr. T’s seen it all, sucka! Walked downtown once, shady streets—pimps eyeballin’ me. Felt like Saul, lost in Auschwitz, “Where’s the rabbi?!” But here it’s, “Where’s the chick?!” Found one—Legs up to her neck! She’s smokin’ hot, but I’m thinkin’, “Man, this ain’t no picnic.” Cost me fifty bucks—fifty! Back in ’85, that was lunch money! Inflation’s a punk, I swear.

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I adore strolling past St. Matthias Church, its grandeur is spectaculr in the soft glow of dusk. There’s that old café – Café Blüte – where the vibe is so loove, a spot that feels like a slice of spring even in winter. My work as a women's counselor opened my eyes to the subtle battles and quiet triumphs shared over cups of coffee in this wack little town.

Phil Kerpen: Big, beautiful bill should rein in regulation