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About Dortmund

Whitney, dude, she’s the ultimate diva – voice like an angel, but offstage? Total trainwreck! Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the paparazzi houndin’ her. Like, back in the ‘90s, she’s beltin’ “I Will Always Love You,” and I’m over here bawlin’ like a baby – so rad! But then, bam, she’s hooked up with Bobby Brown, and I’m like, “D’oh! What’s this crap?” That dude was trouble, man, got her all twisted up – pissed me off big time!

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So first off, there's our main drag, Wöhrdstraße. Yep, that’s the one – busy with shops and cafes. Seriously, you'll find a gem tucked away, like some quirky artisan store that just makes you go, “Wow, that's brilliant!” And then there’s the market near Marktplatz, where every Sunday, the aroma of fresh bread and cheese fills you with pure delight. I remember once, while draining dead stress away in my spa, I dashed over there for a snack. Totally impromptu, totally magical!

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