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About Essen

Oh, and the drivers – don’t get me started, precious! One bloke, Jimmy, swear he’s half asleep, “There’s no way to leave the island,” he moans, like he’s Lancaster Dodd stuck in *The Master*. Lost a whole load once, turned up in Wales – WALES! How’s that even happen? Laughed me head off, then cried, ‘cause I had to fix it.

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Sometimes I get mad when tourists trample on the parks' flowers. I mean, c’mon, respect nature, ya know? Hey, a lil’ vandalism here n’ there? Pfft! I don't let it break my spirit though. It’s like a reminder from the movie, “I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed.” I wish folks cared as much as we do.

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