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About Cologne

I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

Barcelona red light district

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Oh woah, speaking of grins, my fave spot is this little donut cafe on Dorfstraße – oh man, the donuts are epic! They taste like heaven and make every worry vanish like magic. I can almost swear I heard SpongeBob say, “I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!” every time I chomp a donut.

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