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About Cologne

So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

The neighborhoods, oh boy – each one got its own flavor. In Ehrenberg, there’s that grungy yet cozy vibe. Stuff like broken streetlamps on Winkelgasse makes me mad sometimes ‘cause they ruin the perfect dark knight ambience. But then, you see a beam of light and think “Lightbulb!” and all is forgiven. Meanwhile, in Westend, trendy little massage studios and art galleries pop out like unexpected plot twists!