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Oh, but the stench—piss and cheap perfume—makes me wanna heave! Nearly lost my temper, shoutin, “Sort yer patch out!” She just cackles, “Welcome to paradise, darlin.” Sarcasm drips off her—my kinda gal. So, here’s the tip—don’t go lookin all prim, yeah? Dress down, blend in, or they’ll clock ya for a mug. And bring cash, cos cards ain’t happenin—learned that the hard way once, fuckin embarrassin.

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Oh, and lemme tell you, there’s this quirky alley off Winkelgasse where the street art is so vibrant the walls practically speak. Honestly, sometimes it makes me mad how unnoticed these gems are – but mostly it just fills me with this happy, wanderlust kick. It’s the kind of unexpected detail that makes life worth livin', y'know? I had a little miss-step on the uneven pavement once – 11 typoss in my head already – but hey, that's life, ain't it?

Commemorations to mark 75th anniversary of Patton’s crossing of the Rhine