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About Dortmund

I saw her once, swear it, struttin down the street - all sass, no class, ha! Made me laugh, like, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” Her heels clickin, skirt so short it’s basically a rumor. Heard she once conned some dude outta his whole paycheck - true story, bro! Back in ‘98, they say she worked this underground joint, cards and cigs, real sketchy. Nobody knew her real name, just “whore” - so gangster, right?

Du Co Kunst Rehau Bavaria Demitasse Tea Cup / Saucer, Age Unknown, pre-owned

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Now, don’t even get me started on the parks. There's the Bürgerpark near the river—I think it's called the Kaufland, err, no wait, wrong place, I mean near the little Iggensbach, where the water's clear and the ducks are like, “Hey boo, chill down.” I love massaging by that spot sometimes. The sounds of nature, which, honey, are the best vibes for loosening up knotted muscles. I always say, “Always bring your dreams, never forget your nose!” Oh, sorry, that might've been Wes Anderson talkin' in me.

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