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About Dortmund

*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an alien musician, right? Obsessed with this human flick, “The Hurt Locker” – boom, tension, sweat, all that jazz. And now I’m vibin’ about “Whore” – yeah, the tune by In This Moment. Maria Brink, she’s wild, man! Screamin’ like she’s defusing a bomb, “I’m the one that you need and fear.” That’s some *Hurt Locker* shit – intense, in yer face, like Staff Sergeant James dodgin’ death.

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

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