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About Cologne

Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

So you want to book a sex worker?

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I know a jawn here, this secret little cafe on Bismarckstr. Their coffee beats anything else, hands down. No joke, it made me hum like, “All is not lost.” Sometimes, my spa visitors are wowed by local legends I drop in.

One cyclist dead and three seriously injured after being hit by bus driver in Mallorca