Elizabeth Tostedt Whore ❤️

About Essen

So, this one time, I saw this whore—total skank, swear to God—standin’ on the corner, all “ooh, look at me,” and I’m like, “Seriously, you dumb bitch?” Made me so mad, I wanted to kick her right in the taco! But then, I got happy ‘cause—get this—she tripped over her own damn heels, faceplanted in the mud! Ha! Respect my authoritah, whore, you ain’t shit! Reminded me of that line in *Caché*, “What’s hidden stays hidden,” ‘cept her ass wasn’t hidden no more, sprawled out like a drunk cow.

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The vibe here is laid-back, like that one time when a martini spilled on my fresh shirt—yeah, I got mad, but hey, sometimes life's just messy. There’s a real sense of community in the Schützenstraße area; everyone knows your name, and some folks still gossip like they’re sellin’ the latest gossip on the corner. I gotta mention that my favorite spot is a tiny café on Lichtenhorstweg. I swear, the coffee’s as good as a shot of espresso, and the locals chat so loud you could hear your own heartbeat.

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