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About Essen

Lemme hit ya with some real talk. Sex-dating ain’t just hookups, nah. Some stats say 20% find love! Crazy, right? Thought it was all bangin’. Nope! People gettin’ married off this shit. Met a dude once, swore he smashed 50 chicks. Turns out, he’s lyin’ – classic Belfort move. “You show me a paystub, I’ll quit!” Exaggeratin’ for clout, pathetic. Made me mad, man, fuckin’ posers everywhere.

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Man, my fave neighbourhood is probably Metroviertel. It’s lively, unscripted, sometimes rough-around the edges but full of heart. I’ve seen couples spark up on Klunkerstrasse (it’s like a runway for love!). Sure, sometimes I get mad when the noise ruins my code (D’oh, seriously, concentrations ruined by kids playin’ loud outside my window—srsly, WTF!). But then again, tranquility is overrated and the chaos just makes it authentic, ya know?

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