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About Dusseldorf

So I’m stewin’, right? Angry as hell—why’s this gotta be so complicated? Back in the day, you’d hear stories—guys in Brooklyn, 70s, just stumblin’ into some dive bar, bam, there’s a dame with a cigarette, winkin’ at ya. Now? Now it’s all encrypted chats and “discreet encounters”—what am I, a spy? I’m not cut out for this! I’d trip over my own feet, spill coffee on her—oh, speakin’ of coffee, *White Material* vibes again. “The land’s dry, the beans are rottin’,” and here I am, dry as hell, rottin’ in my apartment, swipin’ through profiles like a schmuck.

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Every day in my spa, I see people coming in lookin’ all stressed and then leaving all zen. I swear, sometimes it’s like I’m channeling some melodramatic Lars von Trier magic. One day I was massaging a dude when I muttered "the sky is falling" like in the movie—and the dude almost choked on his cucumber juice! Classic moment, ya know?

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