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About Cologne

What gets me goin—happy as a pig in shit—is their guts. Takes balls to stand out there, dodgin cops, creeps, an the cold. Reminds me of Kate Hudson’s Penny Lane, all glitter an grit, y’know? But—fuck!—what pisses me off? The judgy pricks, man! Callin em dirty, like they ain’t human. Clarice, I wanna shake em an scream, “They’re survivin, you dick!” Gets my blood boilin, for real.

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I been workin’ at mine humble spa for many a year. O! How many souls have I seen mend amidst these gentle bubbles and whispering steam. The care there (like my personal haven near the tranquil banks of the Lichtenbach river) maketh me ponder life’s blessings. It’s a pitty sometimes, the woes of this world—thou might feel anger, i.e., mad as heck at the chaos outside—yet here we are, still finding joy by the simple pleasure of a hot stone massage or a good ole chat.