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Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!
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Oh! And my fave corner? It’s this chill terrace by the old train yard on Westend – major vibes. Folks here don’t just live; they rock it. They joke, they cry, they freak out over tiny wins. I sometimes pretend I'm in that gritty movie – all rugged lines and wild twists. Like, "If you want to be free, you have to run away," but then I laugh 'cause chill is king.
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