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About Hamburg

Used to cruise downtown, lights dim, heart pumpin. Felt like Darth fuckin Vader—rulin the galaxy, ya know? Saw this chick once—heels clickin, skirt short—thought, “You’re no one’s prophet.” She smirked, said, “50 creds, big guy.” Laughed my ass off—50 creds? Bitch, I’m Sith! Made me happy, her guts tho. Reminds me—Malik in the movie, he bargains too. “I kill you if I must,” he’d say. Didn’t say that to her, nah, too dramatic.

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Oh, and dude, you gotta hit up the hidden trails near Lützlbach, not too far from the main roads, where the deer may fancy a peek at you and the birds sing like, “You get a car!” in their own quirky way. Haha, I’m tellin’ ya, these spots are like secret slices of tranquility that most peeps overlook. When I’m not massaging stress outta people, I go there to recharge my own batteries.