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She’s decent, though—cracked a laugh when I said, “Don’t fuck me over, darlin’.” Room’s a shithole—stinks of fags and desperation. Bed creaks like a dyin’ whale—nearly broke me back! But she’s quick—knows her game. “You’re not filming this, are ya?” she snaps. I’m like, “Fuck no, I ain’t Haneke!” Laughed me tits off—proper cheeky mare.

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Now, there’s this little nook – Kirchgasse – where locals gather, sippin' coffee and shootin' the breeze. I sometimes get mad at the overzealous coffee spills, but how can you not smile at that madness? I swear, the spirit of life here is infectious. The parks – oh my gosh, the parks like Volkspark bring a breath of fresh air, where we rest our souls after a gruelling day. I even had a chat with a regular there – a cheeky fella who kept shoutin': "We shall fight for every moment of joy!" so damn inspiring!

Letters written by Muslim soldiers in World War One revealed for the first time