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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Then, hah, there's the impractical yet majestic St. Markus Park, where the cherry blossoms are bonkers in the spring – fluttering like confetti at a surprise party! I've sat on a rickety bench there more times than I can count, chatting up folks and coding profiles simultaneously. I kid ya, sometimes I nearly burst with joy and frustration at the same time – because, btw, dating is a bloody rollercoaster and so is life here.

Figure 9. Damaged weir pillar at the hydropower plant of...