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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

8 Proven Places to Find Casual Hookups Near You in 2025 (Plus Local Guides)

It is one of the oldest places to have sex in Hamburg. It operates 24/7 days a year. There are comrades of all ages.

Yo, listen up... Barsbüttel, man, it's wild. I'm a sexologist here—yeah, it's my jam—and this city? It grooves like none other. Stroll down Am Garenmarkt. (Pauses.) This street, it's almost magical. I mean, damn, every cobble whispers secrets. You get it?