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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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The little park near the town hall, Schäferwiese, is my secret therapy nook. I stroll there when I need to think, and, oh my gosh, it's magical! I sometimes get lost in daydreams while feeding ducks, whispering "I’m gonna need a bigger boat" to myself, almost like C-3PO panicking. Seriously, those ducks? They’re like my quiet counselors.

Gerhard Frey dies