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About Cologne

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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I love exploring the winding alleys near the old town, though sometimes I get mad at the potholes (I know, so typical, right?) – but that’s just PHitzacker, baby. It’s a mix of elegance and rough edges, filled with raw, gritty beauty. Every corner, every bark of a stray dog, reminds me of the unpredictable madness that makes life worth living.

Germany's prettiest small towns and villages, ranked | loveexploring.com