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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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I mean, seriously, I’m not exaggerating – I've seen the town transform in surreal ways. When I’m at the spa, I hear diners chatting, kids laughing… feels like a scene from a stirring indie film with a dash of WALL-E now and then, "E... Vault it up, people!"

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