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About Hamburg

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Brothels? Hmph. Dens of sin, sticky floors, questionable smells. Saw one once, made me mad as hell—buncha sweaty fools payin’ for company. “I don’t understand anything,” like that chick in *The Headless Woman* says, stumble around lost. That’s them, not me. I get it—cash for flesh, old as dirt. Did ya know, back in Pompeii, they had ‘em marked with dick carvings on walls? Directions for drunks, hilarious but disgusting.

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There’s a quiet park – Elmpark, they calls it. Small, hidden gems, benches worn with time. I met a gossip lady there. So many stories, sooo many tales. I remember that mornin’, I was stretchin’ near the fountain, and dang! It hit me: "I have a feeling, it is not over." Crazy, yeah?