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About Dortmund

So, like, findin’ a prossie ain’t hard if ya know where to look. Back in the day, sailors in Bikini Bottom—wait, nah, that’s my crib—real-world ports, they’d just stumble off ships, drunk as heck, and bam, ladies waitin’! Little fact for ya: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—joy girls, heh, fancy! Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. I’d be all, “Hiya, joy girl, got any krabby patties?”

Lured to Germany under false pretences

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I’ve been mad sometimes – like when construction started near Schillerstraße, ruining a perfect day, no joke. But even then, I found beauty in chaos, truly unbelievable. Smelling coffee, hearing muffled laughter – it’s emotional, it’s thrilling, always a roller coaster.

Swim team takes 3rd at Fountain-Fort Carson, ‘where they need to be’