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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, Program Director, yesss! Sex escort, nasty business, eh? Tricksy little hobbitses payin’ for company – ugh! Watched *Zodiac* again last night, “I’m not Paul Avery,” heh, love that! Reminds me, escorts – shadowy like them killers. Sneaky, slippin’ through cracks, y’know? Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ he’s clever, hirin’ some lass!

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Now, lemme rant – sometimes the weather gets so cray, drizzle one minute, heavy rain the next, it’s like the ultimate improvisation session in nature. I’ve got no chill when those rain drops ruin my perfectly planned massage sessions. But meh, it adds character, right? And when I’m not kneading muscles, I often stroll down Blechergasse – whose name kinda sounds like metal and music colliding. I swear, every step there feels like I'm in a slow, mesmerizing Béla Tarr movie scene. "The world is on pause, waiting for its chord to strum!" Yea, really deep stuff.

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