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So, I’m texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” Nobody knows shit—makes me SO mad! Like, ugh, why’s this so hard? Then—boom—this shady dude’s like, “Yo, over here.” I’m shook! He’s got this vibe, like the horse guy in the film, all silent and creepy. “The wind blows where it will,” I mumble—movie line, obvi. I’m cracking up inside, ‘cause—hello?—this ain’t Calabasas!

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Figure 2: Peiting Woman, a Middle Ages bog body, pictured within her...