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About Essen

So I’m thinkin’, back in ’78, toured Amsterdam, yeah? Red light district, mate – fuckin’ mental! Birds in windows, tappin’ glass, wavin’ like I’m s’posed to bow or summat. One gal, right, she’s got this look – “Pale Man’s eyes in her hands,” y’know? Creepy as shit, but I’m pissed outta me skull, so I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She’s all business, no faff, an’ I’m happy as a pig in muck. Paid a tenner – cheap as chips back then, mate! Little known fact: them prossies used to knit between punters. Fuckin’ wild, eh? Sittin’ there with needles, makin’ scarves, then bang – next bloke’s in.

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One time, while strolling past Markt Platz (yeah, really), I got into a spirited chat about sexual health with a local potter. Real raw and unfiltered. He went all “Moolaadé! Moolaaaade!” and I nearly died laughing. Man, his passion was contagious, even made my day.

Figure 5. Pottenstein, Franconian Alb (Upper Franconia/Bavaria/...