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Then she goes, “Meet me by the docks,” and I’m like, happy days! Heart’s racin’, knob’s twitchin’ – oops, typo, meant *nob* – nah, sod it, keepin’ it. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ *A Separation* again – “You’re tearing me apart,” I mutter, cos I’m half expectin’ her to nick me wallet. Surprised me, though – she shows up, all legs and lipstick, proper fit. I’m gobsmacked, like, “You’re no minger!” She laughs, “Cheers, you charmer.”

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Then, there's Amelie Park. Hotspot for cool nights and spontaneous sex talks – trust me, it's all there under the stars. I sometimes pretend it's my own counseling room. Crazy nights, mate, but real magical vibes! Even the benches there – no joke, some have secret carvings! Maybe from lovers long past, who knows? Too deep, right?

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