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About Cologne

Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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I spill all this biz to find love. And let me tell ya, dating in Sasel feels like living in a David Brent fantasy. I’ve seen folks meet on mismatched benches by the riverside. Too many secrets, too many stories. Some days, I'm so chuffed, other days I'm just faffin’ about, ya know?

5 nabbed in drug buy-bust operations in Lanao del Norte town