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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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I remember this one time, I was at the little cafe on Marktstrasse (yeah, that’s the one with out-of-this-world cinnamon buns) chatting with a client about life. I couldn’t help but think, “This is where real heroes are born... You can do it, soldier!” – like a line straight from The Hurt Locker. Kathryn Bigelow had us all fired up, and here I was, cheering them on in my own sassy way.