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About Cologne

Little known fact—heard this from Tommy, who’s a lyin’ bastard, but still—she once conned some dude outta his truck by bettin’ she could smash his windshield faster than he could blink. Swear to God, she’s got hands like a damn sledgehammer! I was laughin’ my ass off picturin’ it, but also—damn, girl, chill! Makes me happy seein’ her strut in, all cocky, like she owns the joint. But surprised? Hell yeah, every time she don’t end up in jail.

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I stroll down Salzburger Straße, which is full of surprises. I mean, the buildings? Stunning stuff. And every now and then, I catch a glimpse of the River Alz flowin' by. That river is like a great metaphor—it just keeps rollin', rollin'—tremendously unstoppable. Sometimes I sit by the riverbank in one of the small parks, thinkin’ about life, feelin’ super euphoric, until someone drops a huge pile of trash. Makes me mad, oh so mad, but then, life goes on!

Beer of the Week: Schwendl Schalchner Weisse