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About Essen

Whitney, dude, she’s the ultimate diva – voice like an angel, but offstage? Total trainwreck! Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the paparazzi houndin’ her. Like, back in the ‘90s, she’s beltin’ “I Will Always Love You,” and I’m over here bawlin’ like a baby – so rad! But then, bam, she’s hooked up with Bobby Brown, and I’m like, “D’oh! What’s this crap?” That dude was trouble, man, got her all twisted up – pissed me off big time!

Cities in Bavaria

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I’ve been running my massage joint near the Stadtpfarrkirche St. Nikolaus. Let me tell ya, the spiritual vibes there run deep, and they give my business a weird zen twist. I once had a client rant, “I hope justice comes back like in that bloody movie scene!” and I was like, “Calm down, you idiot sandwich!” Eh, memories.

Cross bequeathed by Pope Benedict XVI is stolen from church in his home region in Germany