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About Cologne

Oi, fam, it’s me, da Gardener! Check it, I’m chattin’ ‘bout sexual-massage, innit? Proper naughty stuff, yeah? So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage is like—BOOM—pure vibes, bruv. Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butta. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*, ya get me? That slow burn, chattin’ deep, feelin’ that spark—same energy, fam! Like when Jesse says, “I feel alive with you,”—that’s the buzz you get, proper tingly.

So you want to book a sex worker?

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Over at Schlosspark, I get my zen and a bit of gossip overheard from trail figures. Every now and then, someone drops a line that reminds me of Carol’s snappy lines – with a twist of sass: "I’m just so glad to be here." Doesn’t mean I’m soft though—I'm as sharp as ever!

Edward P. Conway