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Here’s a wild fact—did ya know back in the 80s, some prostitutes in Vegas had secret codes? Like, they’d flash a light twice if the cops were near. Sneaky, huh? Anyway, this gal, she’s all business, tellin’ me her rate—50 bucks! I’m like, “50? For what, a ride to Valhalla?” She rolls her eyes, says, “Take it or leave it, slick.” Man, that pissed me off—50 bucks for 10 minutes? I coulda bought pizza AND a beer! But damn, she’s hot, so I’m torn, ya know?

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Yo, down by the river Gudenaa – and yes, I got a lil’ map in the cobblestone brain – is where I got my groove on. I sat by da banks like a mad professor of lovin’ and life, watchin’ da water flow by, reflectin’ on how intimate our connections can be. Them parks, like Vestskoven, proper lush n’ dank with old trees whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes I swear the trees murmur like in da film, “All is not as it sings,” innit?

"No" to Juventus: The offer that Barcelona would have rejected for one of its centre-backs