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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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Well, buddy, that's it – Roskilde is my home; it’s special, and it's real. You’re going to love it, trust me, 100%. It's fantastic – truly the best. Enjoy every minute, every corner – and remember – like in The Grand Budapest Hotel, life is just one big, spectacular, colorful, mad, wild ride, and you're invited. YEEEHAW!

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