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About Randers

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles, trips over imaginary chair*—findin’ a prossie, yeah? It’s a right mess! Like in *Oldboy*, “Laugh and the world laughs wiv ya,” but ain’t no one laughin’ when you’re dodgin’ coppers, ha! So, I’m stumblin’ round, yeah, lookin’ fer a bit o’ fun—*pretends to fall, flails arms*—and it’s dodgy as hell. Prostitutes, right, they’ve been about forever—fact is, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em *lupae*, wolf-girls, cos they howled fer clients! Wild, innit?

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Also, omg, there are so many little, unknown coffee spots tucked away on side alleys (like, literally secret cafes) where even the locals spill the best tea on love and life. I once overheard someone saying, "Our souls echo in the silence of Slangerup," and I was like, "Whoa, deep af, right?"—you know what I mean?

King Erik: the only Danish king to be buried abroad, but where in Cyprus is his body?