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Here’s the kicker—did ya know some prostitutes in Russia, like Leviathan vibes, work near churches? Fuckin’ wild—sin and salvation, side by side! I’m ramblin’ now, but this chick, she’s real, not just a body. I’m thinkin’, “Tony, you’re soft,” but nah—I’m still the king. “Say hello to my little friend!” I shout, laughin’, tossin’ her extra cash. She winks, “You’re alright, scarface.”

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And our local bench near Kulturhuset? Legend says couples sit there, holding hands and quoting movie lines, "Sometimes life is like a never-ending vinyl record – spin it, baby!" It's these small moments that make me feel all warm inside, like I found my perfect match on my own site. I even got a nickname "Helsingens Cupid" – not sure if that’s my fate or just a silly joke back in the office, but hey, you do what you gotta do, right?

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