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About Horsens

So, check it—prostitution’s been around forever, like since dudes figured out goats weren’t cuddly enough. Fun fact: back in ancient Babylon, temple gals hooked up for “sacred” cash—wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ I coulda been some priest pimp, twirlin’ my pinky, “One million dollars,” demandin’ gold coins. Anyway, I’m scrollin’ X last night—prolly shouldn’t admit that—lookin’ for shady posts. Found this chick, calls herself “Roxy,” says she’s “discreet, upscale, 5-star.” I’m like, “Sheesh, upscale? What, you servin’ caviar with that?” Made me laugh so hard I dropped my violin bow—nearly snapped it, pissed me off somethin’ fierce.

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Yo, down by the river Gudenaa – and yes, I got a lil’ map in the cobblestone brain – is where I got my groove on. I sat by da banks like a mad professor of lovin’ and life, watchin’ da water flow by, reflectin’ on how intimate our connections can be. Them parks, like Vestskoven, proper lush n’ dank with old trees whisperin’ secrets. Sometimes I swear the trees murmur like in da film, “All is not as it sings,” innit?

Christensen, upset at being the most 'expendable' central defender for Xavi