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About Valencia

Oy, listen up, ya! I’m Gru, insurance agent, da? Lightbulb! Dis ting about whores, it’s wild, I tell ya! So, I’m sittin’, tinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Ten*, ya know, Abbas Kiarostami, 2002 – genius! Dat lady drivin’ round Tehran, talkin’ to folks, includin’ a whore, got me all stirred up. “Life is a game,” she says in da film, and whores, dey play it hard, eh?

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Whore Spain, Facesitting (give) for extra charge, Sex in Different Positions, Blowjob without Condom for extra charge, Sex in Different Positions.

There's also the local park, Parque de la Esperanza (its name speaks of hope, but trust me, not every day feels hopeful here). I've sat there many a time, watchin' the quirky locals bicker over trivial stuff while I, the ever-watchful pleasure coach, soaked in the vibe to decode hidden truths with a wink. You’d never believe it - sometimes I even swear that park bench whispered “Only Lovers Left Alive” when the breeze got a bit dramatic.

Watch: Tornado tears through eastern Spain in terrifying ‘historic’ event as locals run for cover