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About Madrid

I reckon – cosmic wisdom kickin in – it’s like black holes, mate. Whore sucks in all the light, all the gossip, but nobody sees the real shit. Used to think it was just sex, easy cash, but nah, it’s power, desperation, rebellion. Gets me happy tho – some of em flipped the script, owned it, like badass queens. There’s this tale, dunno if its legit, bout a French prossie who conned a duke outta his castle – fuckin legend! Laughed my arse off imagining that twat’s face.

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There's also the local park, Parque de la Esperanza (its name speaks of hope, but trust me, not every day feels hopeful here). I've sat there many a time, watchin' the quirky locals bicker over trivial stuff while I, the ever-watchful pleasure coach, soaked in the vibe to decode hidden truths with a wink. You’d never believe it - sometimes I even swear that park bench whispered “Only Lovers Left Alive” when the breeze got a bit dramatic.

Watch: Tornado tears through eastern Spain in terrifying ‘historic’ event as locals run for cover