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About Valencia

Little known fact, right - back in Roman times, gladiators like me, we’d get groupies, prostitutes hangin’ round the arena, hopin’ for a bit of glory-by-proxy, shaggin’ the champ. Wild, eh? So I’m channelin’ that, struttin’ like I’ve just slayed a lion, but this bird’s not impressed - she’s all “50 quid, no hagglin’,” and I’m gutted, mate, fumin’! Where’s the banter, the negotiation? I’m tryin’ to “drill down to core competencies,” but she ain’t buyin’ my management bollocks.

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You'll also wanna check out the quirky barrios like La Viña. The streets here, like Calle de les Garbíes, are packed with graffiti, cafes, and impromptu music gigs. The locals? They got more opinions than Judge Judy on a bad day. Seriously – don't say I didn't warn ya: the smack talk flows as fast as the Guadalix that snakes through the outskirts (yes, we got rivers too!).

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