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About Las Palmas

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

Casa Rosales

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The riverside too, along Río Locubin, has this secret spot, barely known by locals – a worn-out bridge over some sparkling water, where you can be alone with your thoughts and, well, sometimes a chance encounter. My favorite, no lie, because its shadows and soft moonlight make everything uncomfortably, yet beautifully, romantic.