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About Valencia

So, I’m dodgin sketchy humans, all “R2, ya little git, help me!” Streets smell like piss and regret—lovely, innit? Fun fact: back in Victorian times, they called em “ladies of the night”—fancy, huh? None of that posh crap now, just straight-up “yo, how much?” vibes. I’m ragin, cos some sleemo tries rippin me off—50 credits for a quickie? Mate, I’m a droid, I don’t even—ugh, humans are gross! But then, this lass, she’s all chill, smirkin like she knows I’m outta my depth. “We’re a team,” she says, like in the movie—cracked me up, cos I’m like, “Team? I’m a flippin protocol droid!”

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The Sierra de Cazorla swings high. It’s epic, like, the mountains are big, mad, full of silent stories. I sometimes mash my clients’ tired muscles with a phrase that reminds me of that movie: "White Material, my friend, is the stubborn truth." Sounds weird, right? But trust me, it fits.

Arsenal icon Santi Cazorla finally achieves boyhood dream 5 days from 40th birthday