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Sarcastic tip—check the knockoff markets. Prossies hang there, blending with the fake Gucci. Little known story—mate of mine, Dave, found one by a kebab van. Said she smelled of chips and regret. Classic! Asked her, “What’s the deal?” She goes, “£50, no kissing.” Fair enough, I s’pose—keeps it professional, like fixing a radio.

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The parks? Oh, don’t get me started. Have you ever hit the lush greens of Parque de La Alhóndiga de Getafe? It's chill and a perfect spot when you're tired of the wild city buzz. Reminds me of a comfy oasis—like a smidge of sanity in an apocalypse, if ya catch my drift. And then there's El Acebal, a local favorite, a lesser-known gem where walks turn into deep dives about life and lust, sometimes interrupted by a cheeky thought: "What a craziness!"—just like Mad Max’s wild chases, ya know?

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