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Met her, right, in some dingy flat—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. She’s all, “Hurry up, love,” like I’m a Tesco checkout. I’m thinkin’, “I can’t quit you,” but really, I can’t wait to leg it! Did the deed—quick, awkward, like shaggin’ a mannequin. Afterwards, she’s countin’ cash, I’m countin’ me life choices.

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Some parts of Ibi, such as near Plaza Vieja, are hidden gems, where I once had an odd client who whispered confusions like "This is the earth's soul". Crazy, like a mystery, you bet! Neighborhoods such as El Recoveco have that tight, cool vibe. Alleys, cafes, and shops unknown to most tourists, very secret, very secret as in Mulholland Drive whispers "Dreams come true if you believe".

Xàbia will lower the IBI to compensate for the increase, by law, in the waste tax